All too content....but never satisfied.

"Do you wake up and lie there
And think it through?
Is the weight of your own life
Too much for you?"

I've lately been feeling like I have made my way up a mountain and come to a cliff, but instead of jumping off (like so many people do when they go for what they want) I just set up camp and have been hangin' out there ever since. And every day I just go to the very edge and look over. And all I do is think about jumping. About how amazing it would be, how freeing. And then, instead, I just go cuddle up in my sleeping bag and read a good book, and wish for adventure...and love.
And people just keep coming up, and passing me by...some stopping to talk and exchange stories, but always leaving me behind in the end. I find myself wishing to meet some crazy person. Someone crazy enough to push me off the cliff, since I'm so afraid to take the plunge myself. But I never meet that person. And I always comes back to the realization that I'm eventually going to have to do it on my own.

I wish that I weren't such a fearful person.

I wish that I still believed in all of my dreams.

I wish that I had guts.

I wish that I had confidence in everything I do.


I wish someone would just push me.

laurenthevampireslayer signing off...