I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed

Okay so I am fairly certain that I am just never gonna find another job.

Why people do not want to hire an extremely easy to work with, hard working, loyal college graduate? I HAVE NO FREAKIN IDEA. It really just behooves me.

Oh I didn't do well on your stupid "job assessment"? I guess that's a strike against my character....oh wait....you know absolutely NOTHING about my character because you have NEVER EVEN MET ME.

Yeah, I'm a little pissed off...sorry blog world, for my outburst.

I guess I am just feeling a little trapped right now.

signed,

sincerely irritated


laurenthevampireslayer signing off...

Driving Lessons

So earlier today I had an epiphany while I was driving. It was of something that I have always, always known but it was just made very clear to me in that distinct moment. This (we'll just call it an "epiphany") "epiphany" was just the simple fact that God has the perfect dude picked out for me. Not a perfect dude, but the precise other piece to fit perfectly into my bizarrely shaped puzzle piece. I mean, duh. I have always known that. But there's a huge difference between knowing it and actually being at peace with it. I don't have to stress myself out with looking perfect or being the kind of girl that every guy wants to be with or look at because eventually there will be one person that thinks that way about me and that's all that really matters. But nothing that I do is really going to factor into that. By nothing that I do, I just mean that no book that I read or way that I wear my hair or how nice my legs look is really gonna make that much of a difference if something is meant to happen. It's just going to happen. And it's going to happen at the exact time that it needs to happen and it's going to happen at the exact time that it happens. So I am done worrying. And I am done stressing out (about this particular aspect of my life....baby steps, people!!). But it's not for me to have to finagle ways to be around someone. That's not how it's gonna happen. I don't know when. I don't know how. But I know something's starting right noooowwwwwwww. Not really, but I had to just go ahead and finish those song lyrics. You just gotta go with the flow, you know.

Until then, I am just gonna cross-stitch and write and read and podcast and hopefully get a new stinking job.

Capiche?
Capiche.

laurenthevampireslayer signing off....

You Gotta Sink, Gotta Sink, Gotta Sink to Swim

"Your Father knows what you need before you ask him. So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today's trouble is enough for today."
                          -Matthew 6:8b, 31-34

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
                          -Romans 8:28

"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
                          -Exodus 33:14

"You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away."
                          -Job 11:16

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
                          -Psalm 139:7,9,23-24

I have been having to repeat these to myself extremely often. Sometimes I feel like the most pointless human being on the planet. It's like I have just been dropped into a jello mold and have to force my way out moving only the tiniest increment with every surge of energy. I feel alone. And I feel ridiculous for even saying any of this, because my life could be way, way, way worse. So I'm just gonna shut up because I have so many wonderful things in my life and I think that I need to learn to appreciate them more.

I just have to believe.

laurenthevampireslayer signing off...

Wait, We're Running Out of....

I hate Time today. This week.
I wrote a really mean poem about Time once, but I'm not gonna share it on here (sorry!).

But it really is an annoying entity.
It goes fast when you want it to go slow and slow when you want it to go fast.
And some weeks, like this week, you just don't know where it goes. You're not even busy. It just disappears.

If you ask me, Time is a temperamental little bugger and I very much dislike it most of the.......time :)

And there's your thought for the day.

laurenthevampireslayer signing off...